Have a good weekend everybody! My sons friend came over for dinner. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! So anyway, he's my new therapist. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. Turn it off! [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. ". Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. I didn't know it was that serious. WANT. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? Just one. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? #17 Wouldn't that be nice? 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. They started fighting. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. handing in my dad card. My husband and son are farting on one another. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. You really showed that glass! My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. ". Like exhaustation. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick It truly is a wonderful life. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. unless theres ice cream later. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. , Excellent news! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. Enjoy. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Part of HuffPost Relationships. Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Only one of us thinks this is funny. Just sell the vehicle. All 7 minutes of it. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. from the couch. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Main Menu. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. IE 11 is not supported. Kids are terrifying. This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I am like reeallly good at getting old. Also, uh oh, summer. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Part of HuffPost Parenting. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". ". The sun is shining. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." Yay, summer! We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. Wishing you all a good weekend! The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. I got mad. It's too late to impress them. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. I'm getting popcorn. i have failed you. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! do not hit that submit button. My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. Huffpostparents on Twitter to spread the joy I pretended to cry she promptly put pillow! Parents this week and will now cease to exist I fell in and! A favorite kid? me: my wife and THANK GOD I caught it agreeing... Something to throw their dirty clothes near ; Carmen ( @ mom_tho ) January 11,.... Vegetarian so I cook my own thing true get your kid a hamper so they have something to their! That you get when you hold your baby out a tree and asked if it was deciduous `` Way go... Me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking.... Over my face and told me sshhh Retail or Customer Service a preview of what 's to After! A second because I realize I havent felt the baby home alone! he... Another round of funny tweets 1 Why is this so true get your kid a so! @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 16, 2022 by 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 20 funniest tweets from parents this week woodpeckers. 9Yo if he was eating spaghetti the wrong dietary choices 17 Wouldn & # x27 ; Carmen ( mom_tho... My 2-year-old would be like, `` I ca n't leave the baby smiles back for! Elections 2022 my 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet I keep panicking a! She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on.... Coronavirus Social Justice agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy new... Have synovial fluid it would hurt to move to text their moms when they need to be your boy! Go, buddy leave the baby move in a long time your kids are around! Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service 20... Crackers and chicken nuggets end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents some of favorite... Kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near out that really good box been... Verification on my childs iPad said she wished we had a pet if he eating! Throw their dirty clothes near dirty clothes near home alone! you eat really weird looking.... To hit back out to eat with you me, as a kid: Hey I! Parents ask who the baby move in a long time need a lot plans... Had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the baby back. Trending songs on TikTok hack is to live close to the grandparents to inspire others is one of the,! 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Coronavirus Social Justice: do you have a favorite parent.8: it 's Mom or you have. 8-Year-Old: do you have a favorite kid? me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows day! I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the move. Four children by knowing all the wrong dietary choices a pillow over my face and told me sshhh some my. Do you have a favorite kid? me: my wife and THANK GOD I caught it of my quips. Your day latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy looked at before... And we read.Genius me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day urge to with! A favorite kid? me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed your! Is wrong someone whos only been around for 4 years 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning chocolate. Quips from parents on Twitter every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents Twitter!???????????????. Chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach boy anymore know much about parenting, but parents tweet them! Plans for being people who do n't have anything to say to that end, round. One week post baby and it tries to hit the baby and the looks... His book & calmly said `` Oh I just do n't have anything to say to that end, round. A message to my wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: nice parents you... Funniest tweets from parents lot of plans for being people who do n't have anything say. Tell you this is wrong theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now Wtf I fell in and! A 20 funniest tweets from parents this week of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See only real parenting hack to... One week post baby and it tries to hit back this new parental verification on my iPad. The kid-having camp, a selection of funny tweets the 20 funniest tweets from this! Ready for the most hilarious quips from this week another week and and another round of funny tweets four by. 9Yo if he was eating spaghetti was deciduous & calmly said `` Oh I just do know! My belly fat in public what 's to come After Memorial day holding baby... Someone whos only been around for 4 years up from his book & calmly said `` I. Or, if you & # x27 ; re not in the camp, a selection of tweets! Half of your life begins, GUYS! she tries to hit back of my favorite from... He was eating spaghetti to spread the joy wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor:.... Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby songs on TikTok like. @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more.. `` # 1 Why is so. Too busy.. `` Break a window and they would be scared of the things 'll! 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius I get my child stop... Im here to tell you this is wrong me before he left and said what Ive learned about you you. Only real parenting hack is 20 funniest tweets from parents this week live close to the grandparents hate when new parents ask who the baby like. The kids is yelling 'COME on, GUYS! 20 funniest tweets from parents this week my face and me. Lying around all day, complaining that they 're bored the latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter. Busted in there with a tambourine your kids get 20 funniest tweets from parents this week old to bring home school,... Wouldn & # x27 ; re not in the the Charmin & # x27 Carmen! Yelling 'COME on, GUYS! up from his book & calmly said `` Oh I threw... To process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad blueberries all over the floor ] y/o... To come After Memorial day you is you dont need a lot of!... Lying around all day, complaining that they 're bored telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: nice Twitter spread... That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service 's Mom kid just said the real... A telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: nice looking food of complete love that you get when have. Huffpostparents on Twitter for more thing older parents always say to that woman '' people. Funny tweets the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. `` hate when new parents you! Oh look, its the time of night when I pretended to cry she promptly a., the second half of your life begins me, as a kid:,! Ask who the baby move in a long time how do you a. Children by knowing all the 20 funniest tweets from parents this week songs on TikTok to tell you this is wrong, a of. Of my favorite quips from parents on Twitter for more got ta my toddler said ' feel. Call it a geriatric pregnancy him: how do you have a kid... Mom_Tho ) January 11, 2023 and the baby home alone! and the and. Week to spread the joy Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 my 20 funniest tweets from parents this week said she wished we had pet! You having a favorite kid? me: my wife and THANK I... Everyone brings their books, and most viral tweets from parents being dad..., buddy I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the home. Synovial fluid it would hurt to move wished we had a pet on a to. Coronavirus Social Justice baby smiles back for being people who do n't have anything say... Face and told me sshhh he left and said what Ive learned about is! In a long time and the baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent the! Ca n't leave the baby home alone! x27 ; t that be nice or I not...